SHANE OBSCURE CHAPTER 20

 

20. 

 

   Marc’s car, which his uncle had loaned him, was a classic Mexican vehicle: a maroon Monte Carlo with fuzzy dice dangling from the rear-view mirror, the engine real noisy, a cow sticker on the side. I’d hear the roaring engine and walk into the living room, look out the window and there’d be no car. One night I even went outside to look. For some reason I felt nervous going outside. There was a cigarette burning on the street, half lit, Marc’s brand.  

   (Marc didn’t know where Sean lived. He’d had never asked; Sean never told him. I pretty much figured Marc had come looking for Sean and David.)  

 

   I stomped out the cigarette and went back inside. Ed had a basketball game on. The basketball didn’t irk me like the hockey had before. At that point I needed the rest, a break – but from what?  

 

   Ed had this routine. After every quarter of the game he’d walk into his room, sit on the edge of his bed, and strum his guitar. He had it plugged in but it was clean, not distorted. He had the guitar that was once beneath his bed now headlining on the stand.  

   After two or three minutes into the quarter of the game, he’d walk back in the family room and plop back down on his couch. He seemed content, but he looked somewhat dismayed, empty, bored; or could it be I was merely projecting my feelings onto him? But Ed seemed kind of alone to me. He was the kind of guy who never really felt lonely, but was (most of the time) pretty alone…  

 

   Ed knew where Sean lived and he had told me once the tract and streets. One night I left the Cavern to go over there. I don’t think he heard me leave. His eyes were glued to the TV. The third quarter buzzer had rung, and the tall athletes were running out onto the court, ready to sweat for Ed Marshall… 

 

   Sean Dusk’s (parent’s) house was located in a well to do suburb tract. It was very nice two-story house, sitting a head taller than most of the homes along a quiet street called Manner Avenue.      

   The paint on the house was light tan, the shudder wood around each window a dark green, the lawn garden cut nicely, and a large blackberry tree in the center front lawn, green, fluffy and yet trimmed neatly. Two nice cars, that I figured were his parent’s, sat comfortably on the clean white driveway. Sean’s little Asian job, all dusty, spent, unwashed, tattooed with stickers, clashed along the side curb near his house. David’s car, a little compact station wagon, was parked across the street.   

   The house, from the outside, seemed welcoming enough. I knocked on the big green door.  

   Sean answered it, and invited me inside… 

  

   The furniture looked second hand, handed down, but it was still quite fancy. In the kitchen and adjoining family room, which is the TV room, the tile shone newly clean, and the white walls were covered with oriental wicker baskets.  

   The TV was on in the family room. Sean sat on the long couch, and David sat on the reclining Archie Bunker style easy chair. I could tell they’d been there quite a while, and also, quite a lot. They seemed pretty settled in, safe and, most of all, free.  

   It was much cleaner air in that house than both the Cavern and Marc’s put together. 

 

   It was pretty cool hanging out. They didn’t pay too much attention to me, except when Sean got up to let me in, because a film was on, and I could see the VCR lights blinking, and I heard the buzz of the tape heads moving so I knew it was yet another “Dusk premier night.” But I was late. The film was near the end. Sean had offered me a soda and pointed out the fridge for me to help myself. The inside of the fridge was Eden compared to Marc and Ed’s. The food looked fresh and newly bought, but there was nothing really to eat, just parts of things that made up something if you had the time and patience (and were allowed) to prepare it.  

 

   I sat back down with a Coke and soon enough the film ended. Then I knew for certain it was David’s first time seeing it. He’d do the same routine after a film:  

   He’d sit there, sigh aloud, and rub his eyes in that cliché manner like a child before bedtime - massaging both with the mouth of his fists. Sean sat there, fixated on the credits, but not entirely. He’d sneak a peak over at David. It seemed Sean would need to hear David’s review before he could comfortably breath again. Sean would say something off the wall, like, “I could watch that movie a thousand times and still enjoy it,” And David would turn and sigh again, and just say, “Yeah, that was great!” And they’d sit and watch cable fodder, the stupidest shows I’d ever seen, as Sean would goof on the shows and David would laugh – and vice versa…  

 

   It usually took a while before Sean would bring something up about the film, relating some character to whatever point he was making; and then, for about ten minutes, they’d go in deep about it… 

  

   It was pretty nice over at Sean Dusk’s, relaxed, contained, and contented. There was no tension or expectations lurking anywhere, and at the same time no boredom, and the fridge was an untouchable heaven with very cold sodas, just how I liked them – slightly iced inside.  

   But still, something was missing… 

 

   A few nights later it was back to the usual, all of us hanging at the Cavern, including Marc. We didn’t do much except watch TV. David left early. Then, not too long after, Sean left. He said he had to catch up on sleep. Marc and I were the last ones around. It was kind of nostalgic. Ed had gone to bed, so we both sat and watched TV. Marc lay across the Ed-couch, not seeming tired. He sat up, one arm wrapped around his knee. I sat on the other couch. Marc turned and faced me. 

  “Have you ever been to Sean’s house?” 

  I thought for a second. I remembered Sean had asked me not to tell him the address… 

  “Yeah. One time I was over there. Just a few days ago.” 

  Marc cleared his throat. I hadn’t heard that noise for a while, not since Ed and I watched hockey and he stood behind the couch all those months ago. 

  “I know a girl who lived in West Estates,” Marc said plainly. “Man, she was fine. Her sister died in a car accident last year. She crashed into a tree outside the on Welder Street, close to my mom’s house. It was pretty sad. I made out with that chick in 9th grade once. Her name was Kelley Strong. I forget what street she lived on. I wonder if she lived around Sean.” 

  Then I said without thinking: “What street did she live on?”  

  Marc thought about it for a second; then said: 

  “I don’t remember… but I’d know if I heard it. Name some streets.” 

  “I only of know one.” 

  “Name it. Maybe that’s the one.” 

  “Manner Avenue,” I said. 

  He nodded, thinking about it. 

  “No,” he shook his head. “That’s not it. It was two words, Casa something. I don’t know. I don’t really remember… 

  “But she was sure cute… boy what a loss…” 

 

  We watched TV. Marc never did fall asleep, like usual. He left that night even before I did.  

  Right before he left, he seemed slightly edgy, like he had a mindful of something… 

 

   The next night I was already at the Cavern pretty early when Dusk arrived. Twilight blurred outside. Inside the house seemed quieter than usual. Ed wasn’t around; Cudd was asleep in his room. Sean seemed preoccupied in thought. Some dull show was on and Sean asked me: 

  “Did you come by my house last night?” 

  “No. Why?” 

  He sighed. 

  “My dad was pretty pissed this morning. He said someone put out a cigarette on the porch. He was mad, thought I’d done it. He thought I quit smoking in high school.” 

  “I don’t know who it was,” I said… but really, I knew who it was: and it was my fault he’d found the house.   

  Sean seemed half nervous, half perturbed… kind of haunted in preoccupied thought.   

 

   Cudd, for a get-by living, stocked soda machines. Then he got fired from that job, which he’d kept for over a year. The reason for his abrupt dismissal was because he’d slept in too many mornings. He was going through some sort of metamorphosis. I honestly think that all of us being around had been getting to him. If Ed had pulled the plug on us, we’d have been permanently eighty-sixed from the cavern. But Ed was arguably one of the nicest people around, so Cudd, who was five years Ed’s minor, couldn’t do or say much about our constant brigade at the house… 

 

   Marc had been around the Cavern quite a lot. Every single night, it seemed. It was back to him and I drinking. We drank and it felt as if we’d never had so long a break since the times we sat on the roof or hung around smoking by the swimming pool. For nostalgia’s sake we even went up on the roof again, during an early sunset, and Cudd pulled up, parked, walked toward the front door and, when he was directly beneath us, Marc flicked a cigarette butt down at him. Marc, a sharp shooter at everything, missed intentionally, the butt sparking near his feet, like a movie cowboy shoots dirt on a boot and says: “Dance!”  

   But Marc didn’t say dance, and Cudd didn’t say a word walking into the house. 

  “He’s been a real dick lately,” Marc said woefully. “I think he hates me being around…” 

  

   Sean Dusk started coming over again, and when he did Marc would be already pretty loaded. I’d noticed Marc didn’t like to be sober around Sean. Sean always seemed at a constant “norm,” and was rarely buzzed anymore. He’d always maintain a particular coolness, sort of an edgy comedic sarcastic mellow around Marc. It made Marc feel, from what I could tell, somewhat uneasy.  

 

   Sometimes, though, a drinking-Marc would successfully tempt Sean to join him, and by the time Sean got a buzz going Marc would be dead drunk and talking about the future – a future that, Marc was sure, included he and Sean being, in some way or another, world renown. 

  “And what would we possibly do to merit fame?” Sean would say. “We have no talents, dude – we’re drunks!” 

  “No, no way. You and I could anything – as long as we do it together. Shit, man, whatever the fuck we put our minds to doing. We just need to practice,” he’d reply intensely. 

  “Practice? Practice what?” 

  Marc would switch gears, but remaining steady, saying: 

  “We need to get in shape.” 

  “What’re you talking about?” 

  “Look at us. If we lost weight, we could be kings!” 

  Kings. He’d said that more than once. I don’t think Sean liked hearing the word “kings,” at least not when he was buzzed. Sean didn’t want to be a King, but would rather remain what he was: a prince disguised as a jester.  

   It brought Sean down because Marc was truly wasted, while Sean was just catching a good buzz. It brought him down because Marc was always cutting to the chase while Dusk’s engine was merely revving up for the ride…  

 

   David was busy with school and was hardly around weeknights. Marc would ask Sean questions about David, as if he’d (Marc) hadn’t seen him in years. That’s Marc for you. He could hang with you a week straight, 24/7, and then a day or two goes by and you don’t see him, he’ll have to get reacquainted all over again. That’s why he liked to be pretty buzzed by the time Sean came over. I think he felt more natural around Sean that way, and already acquainted without having to give him a high-five or a handshake. 

 

   A few weeks before Thanksgiving, Cudd moved out of the Cavern – in fact he moved out of state. He got a job with a buddy selling used cars in Seattle, Washington. The night after he left, Marc, Sean and I sat watching TV. There was a silence in the cavern. Marc turned to Sean and asked: 

  “Do you think Ed would consider me moving into Cudd’s room?” 

  “I don’t think that’d work out, buddy,” Sean laughed. 

   Marc looked somewhat dismayed. 

  “Oh well,” he said forlornly. “I probably couldn’t afford the rent anyway…” 

  

   Adam Crumb moved in…  

   Crumb was a buddy of Cudd and Sissy from church. He was the boy next-door type, resembling a cross between Tim Conway and Howdy Doody. He had brownish-red hair, a continent of freckles on a plain, carefree face, and a constant, cheery smile. Ed took to him right away. Crumb was a sports fan too.